Preparing for Christmas in Riyadh

By this time last year, we had set up our Christmas tree and we were packing our bags to go home to see our families for the holiday. This year, we had some different circumstances. Due to the fact that we didn’t think we would have a passport in time for Harris to travel (we do now!) we didn’t plan on leaving for the winter break. While living in Riyadh isn’t hard from a convenience standpoint, there are certainly aspects of it that are not easy. But we had to make do this year and prepare to spend our two week vacation with our slightly smaller family unit.

Since my family has always traditionally started Christmas preparations as soon as Thanksgiving was over, we got a head start this year! Shannon’s parents were staying with us, but because I had to work on Thanksgiving and they were flying home that day, we celebrated with them the weekend before. Then they got to help us set up the house for Christmas.

We set up our tree this year while listening to Christmas music as a family. We even got to unpack and set up our nativity set, which is a weird tradition that has been in my family for generations. It all started with a traditional wooden hand-carved nativity set that was passed down from generation to generation. When my uncles were small, one of them took one of the figurines from the set and played with it like an action figure. When they broke the piece, they replaced it with a different toy. So the once traditional wooden nativity set then had a random toy to fill the space. From that moment on, the tradition was to have each member of the family add an animal or contribution from their past year every year. When I moved out of my parents’ house, my sister was given the traditional family nativity mosaic and my mom gave me a brand new small nativity to start my own. Now, it is a sprawling masterpiece full of dinosaurs, llamas, and bulls. It is a totally random collection that doesn’t look right or fit together, but serves as a yearly celebration of past memories for me. I look forward to passing that on to Harris when he gets older.

With the house and tree set up, it was time to get some presents. So Shannon and I set off for the mall one weekend with the baby. We tried our best to adjust to our surroundings. There would be no Christmas music blaring through the countless malls. But we were out to make it the closest to “authentic” as possible. We set off and got to the mall, stopped at Starbucks for some holiday hot chocolates, and we were surprised to find sort-of-holiday themed paper cups. They didn’t say Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays, but the festive red and green color scheme and decorations seemed to step right up to the line between secular and non-denominational Christmas. I found the tactful insistence on holiday cups to be encouraging. Then, Shannon and I put our headphones in with Spotify Christmas playlists on to pretend we were getting the US mall holiday experience and we split up to go get presents.

After a few hours of shopping, one or two prayer closures, and a pitstop for me to feed the baby, we reconvened for dinner and went home. When we got there, we threw some Christmas movies on and began wrapping our presents. And yes, we were wrapping them in wrapping paper that says “Happy Birthday” because there is no Christmas wrapping paper here. We’re just going to pretend they are “Happy Birthday Jesus” messages.

Shortly after, Shannon and one of our neighbors hosted a Christmas cookie party at our house. Shannon got together with some friends at the beginning of the year and they set up some special ladies only social events throughout the year. This was one that she signed up to set up and host. Each of the 25-30 women or so who attended brought 24 cookies. I think the rules were that 12 were for everyone to eat while there, and 12 to swap. The idea was that each woman would leave with a collection of 12 different cookies to take home. My role in this was to clean the kitchen and living room, build a fire for them, and take the baby upstairs for some daddy time during the evening. From the sounds of it on a different floor, they all had a wonderful time. We also attended a special holiday event at our school where parents all brought their children to do crafts, eat cookies, and meet Santa. Since Harris is on a strict milk only diet, he avoided the cookies. Due to his lack of hand eye coordination and ability to hold his own body weight in a seated position,

or his own head upright, he passed on the crafts. But he did get to meet Santa!

It’s crazy to think that this time last year we were going to the States to see our families, then off to Berlin for New Years. We had an amazing time then, and we will now. But thinking about those two as mirror events one year apart highlights the stark differences in where we are in our lives. Now as I sit here, we are starting our winter break and we're a few days before Christmas. I have obviously been counting down the days. We will be staying in town for most of it. We will be reuniting a small sect of the family by way of Shannon’s sisters coming to visit for Christmas. We look forward to showing them around Riyadh and some of the outer areas of Riyadh. We’ll show them some of our favorite places and things to do. We look forward to some time with them, a proper Christmas dinner, some presents, and some Harris time with them. After they leave, we are planning a short trip to Bahrain for New Years Eve and a few days outside of the Kingdom with Harris. We’re looking forward to our two weeks of well deserved rest and family time.

Barbershop

Contrary to what most of my friends who lack context, Riyadh is not a hard place to live. Modern amenities, restaurants, malls, and conveniences can be found everywhere. I’m happy about this. But a small part of me misses the adventure in the day to day difficulties of living in Quito. While frustrating in the moment, those challenges gave our experience more flavor and gave the city a specific sense of character. With all of the conveniences here, I find that I miss that from time to time. While I know that “opportunities” for those challenges still exist, I rarely seek them out because...well the aforementioned convenience. But this weekend I got to dip my toes back into the waters of “character.”

This weekend when I called for an appointment to get my hair cut, I was told there were no appointments available for the foreseeable future. I can only presume everyone is trying to look fresh for their Christmas vacations and the inevitable barrage of photos. So I decided to venture back off compound to the local barber just outside of the gates. Since it was off compound, I had to get the timing just right so I wasn’t sitting in a parking lot waiting for prayer time closings to end, or so I wasn’t rushed out of there prior to a prayer. You never want to rush the person who holds sharp objects up to your head.

So after figure out the timing, I hopped into the car and left. Since it had rained during the morning, and there is no drainage system in place, I came across small lake in the road just outside of the exit. It was about 50 feet long and wide and unquestionably deep. I was behind another car, and he stopped, so I did too. I was immediately reminded of the old video game The Oregon Trail where the player is faced with a similar situation and is forced to choose between waiting for forever for a ferry to arrive, or to “Caulk the Wagon” and try to float across. It was basically the same thing, but with a car in Saudi Arabia. After some trepidation, the car in front of me threw it in reverse to make a runway and floored it to intentionally hydroplane across the lake. I don’t think he realized that cars don’t work that way. I just drove across it because I am familiar with the works of moisture and rain.

When I finally got to the barbershop, I was greeted with a silent room of 12 men. Every seat was taken by a Saudi man, and every barber was a foreign worker from India, Sri Lanka, Bangladesh, and a few others who I couldn’t begin to guess. There was no small talk. Ice Cube was not present. The only noises were the schink schink of scissors closing, and the small television displaying various people circling Kaaba at Mecca. When it was my turn, he gestured to my head and I quickly realized “Oh god. This man speaks no English.” I shook my head yes to indicate my desire to get a haircut. He put a sheet of plastic on me. I don’t mean a nylon or fabric cover. I mean a sheet of plastic. It was thinner than a trash bag. In fact, the better way to describe it would be to say I had saran wrap draped over me. I did my best to explain (in English) what I wanted while gesturing. He nodded (still no words) and started cutting.

Things were going well and he gestured to my beard. Feeling adventurous, I nodded yes and he broke out the straight razor. He threw on some shaving cream with no water or soaking or towel, so I knew I was in for a fun razor burn. At this point, in most barbershops across the world, the chair is tilted back, to make access to my vulnerable throat meat easier. These chairs did not recline. He pretty much just moved my head with his hand and did the best that he could. I will admit, he did a great job. No cuts. No razor burn. Nice edge. He followed that up with two handfuls (yes, hand fulls) of baby powder. Judging by the packaging, the baby powder was “flower” scented and it had a picture of a dandelion on it. As a new parent, I feel like I have a pretty good grasp on what an appropriate amount of baby powder is. This gentleman, while good at his craft, did not understand this concept. By the time he was done applying it, I looked like part mime (yes he put it on my face too) and part Tony Montana at the end of Scarface.

Afterwards, he started to squeeze my head. I assumed this was the part of the haircut where you get a head massage, but there was no massaging, just pushing. It was like he wanted to pop my skull like a pimple. I tried to politely decline, but again...no English. So I think he assumed I liked the sensation of it despite my protests, and he pushed harder.

When he stopped with the squeezing routine, I opened my eyes to see if we were done, and a mere 2 inches from my face was a squirt bottle. He sprayed me in the face from point blank range, with my eyes open, which made the baby powder cake up and gave me that fresh feeling of water boarding.

When it was finally time to go, I admired the strong work he did on the haircut through the baby powder laced tears of my watering eyes. Not a single word that he or I said was received or understood by the other. I paid my $6 and I was out of there. But hey, at least I got my “character” experience out of it, and a nice haircut too.

Grandparent Visit!

Living abroad has many advantages as we profile in our posts. It also comes with some disadvantages as well, such as how far away our families are. However, on rare occasion, when we're lucky, we get visitors! That's a bit more difficult living in Riyadh than it was in Quito, but with a new grand-baby, Shannon's parents would not be deterred. They were willing to do whatever it took to come see the baby, and they did. They navigated the multi-week process of getting visas, flew across the world, and showed up ready to help and hang with baby Harris. Since this blog is often used for chronicling experiences through fresh eyes, Shannon and I invited her parents to write a post detailing their own experiences. 

First impressions of the city: modular, angular, monochromatic, a city in progress.

Nearly all architecture is comprised of huge square and rectangular buildings with flat roofs (think chunky mid-century), assembled into villa and town-home communities. Mostly all are constructed of stone or concrete in varying shades of beige, taupe, light orange and only very occasionally grey (what’s wrong with gray?). It’s an interesting feature – a city with “no color” – even the majority of cars on the road are white, silver or beige. Does the culture consider bright colors to be inappropriate, or is it simply another way to deflect desert heat? Nearer to the city center is a boulevard of one-of-a-kind high-rise skyscrapers each designed by world-renowned architects trying to outdo the others. Clearly these are what the city wants to be known for. Among these landmarks is the “eye of the

needle” skyscraper as seen in the media, Kingdom Tower.

On either side and in the center median of the highway running through the city are miles and miles of date palm trees complemented by ground covers – as far as the eye can see. Dates palms are some of the tallest, stateliest, most prestigious palms of all; it is extraordinary! An impressive amount of irrigation engineering was needed to create this “living boulevard” through the middle of a desert.

Along that highway, behind the rows of dates palms, are clusters of forklifts, cranes, backhoes, etc. and piles of rock and debris scattered throughout a multitude of construction projects. Clearly, a very long-term plan to further transform the city is in progress.

Once settled into Shannon and Justin’s place, we made a few ventures into the city during our visit. More on these day trips in another blog. Don’t let me forget to describe the showdown with the Saudi military and their howitzer!

Culture
Yes, the women are fully covered in black abayas, face veils, headscarves, burqas, and all other manner of full body clothing! And yes, women visiting the country are required to wear the abaya to fully cover themselves from the neck down (other colors besides black and headscarves are optional for us). I’m told that Saudi women are taught that their godliness to directly related to how covered they are. We westerners (heathens?) only have to wear the abayas when we leave the compound and go into the city. I found the abaya to be restrictive when climbing in and out of cars, reaching across the table at restaurants, etc., and generally a trip hazard. But on the other hand, I didn’t have to worry about what to wear or “get dressed up” to go out! :-)

The Saudi men wear their version of the abaya – the white “thobe”, red and white checkered Saudi headscarves, and a most interesting traditional Saudi sandal (you’d have to see it…). Such a juxtaposition to see Saudis in these traditional clothes on cellphones, in late model cars, strolling through IKEA and hanging out at Starbucks (yes, Starbucks, as well as many other western stores are there: Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, mobile phone stores, Benihana – even Victoria’s Secret at the mall!) It takes some getting used to interacting with cashiers and receptionists whose faces are covered.

In additional to the mosques, the segregation of the sexes is also practiced in waiting rooms,
restaurants, and stores. There are female-only waiting rooms, men-only waiting rooms, and “family” waiting rooms (assuming at least one male is in the party). As a westerner, it’s really hard to understand the logic behind this. It must be a real pain-in-the-butt for space planners.
Although recent changes now permit women to drive, we saw only one female driver during our entire visit.  I think it would be a very difficult place for new drivers to learn how to drive. I equated intersections to playing chicken in bumper cars. Hats off to Justin for jumping in!

I also noticed that it is a very quiet culture. When out in public, Saudis speak very quietly to those in their party only. I never once was able to overhear conversations of those around me. Striking up conversation with the person next to you in line simply isn’t done. The public spaces are also quiet – no background music in the stores, malls, or medical offices. Even the hospital where we went for baby Harris and Shannon’s checkups had only occasional intercom paging interruptions.

Added to this, of course, is the call to prayer five times per day from sunrise to sunset. Those times are set by the daily positioning of the sun, and so vary slightly from one day to the next. BUT, not to worry- there’s an App for that! Seriously!! And Shannon and Justin are adept at calculating travel and shopping times to work around these interruptions and we often referred to apps on our phone to know when the next prayer time was scheduled. It is important to know since stores close during prayer. Depending on the store, either everyone is kicked out of the store for about 25 minutes, or you’re able to continue shopping but the cashiers close and you cannot check out until prayer is over; in other words, you are locked in the store until prayer time ends. I will say (and depending on the Imam) it is quite lovely to hear the call to prayer from the nearby mosques (which are everywhere – and one of the places where architectural adornment is plentiful). But the constant interruption to daily commerce became quite fatiguing. Western Capitalism would have a fit!

The Compound is where S&J live and work. Drive alongside a 12 ft.  high, 8-inch thick concrete wall with razor wire atop, down a singular road with speed bumps and crash gates every quarter of a mile, to the first security checkpoint (wait for guard to wave you forward), then to the second security checkpoint (show ID, open hood and trunk for inspection), past the gun turret directly facing your vehicle, around a final curve and you’re there!

Leaving Riyadh and coming into Al-Bustan Village is like Dorothy waking up in the Land of Oz.
Another analogy is leaving the desert and entering an oasis (albeit man-made) …

The compound is a fully westernized, planned development situated on an approximately one-and-a-half square mile of lushly landscaped streets. You would never know you were in the Arabian Desert. Villas and townhomes surround the perimeter. In front of each is a “covered” parking space – bougainvillea and cassia grow between and across the tops of each of the ports to create a quaint streetscape. Other streets have rows of date palms. Much of the landscaping is common to Florida and other hot, dry climates: cassia, plumeria, aloe, oleander, lantana, bougainvillea, sage grasses, fan palms, Mexican bluebell, privet, fragrant flowering trees, and groundcovers. There is a multitude of birds: mourning doves, finches, bulbul, and unknown others.


Each villa has a private courtyard in the back with a covered seating area, some grass and other landscaping, and is separated from neighbors with fences and hedges. S&J’s had theirs beautifully furnished with furniture, Moroccan lights, a fire bowl, and of course the proverbial grill.

As are all faculty staff, S&J receive a villa and car as part of their compensation package. Theirs is newly built – that is, they were the first to move in when construction was completed earlier last year. It is two-story, 2-bedroom, 2½ baths, approximately 2,000 SF. The modular, flat-roofed architecture of the city is reflected here as well. All of the villas have been built within the last few years so everything is quite new.

There is a small hotel and business center at the front of the village. Three huge public swimming pools are scattered throughout. One is “sunken” that is, walk down a few steps from street level to a series of connecting pools surrounded by – you guessed it – date palms and lounge chairs. The palms have numbers affixed to their trunks so that when ordering food service you can tell them what tree you’re located at. It has a five-star resort feel, just like a Sandals resort!

Within the business center are three small restaurants – Burger King, pizza, and a middle-eastern shawarma place (we ate fresh tabbouleh and kibbeh almost every day – delicious!), some gift shops, a
bike shop, a pet supplies shop, Starbucks, and a small grocery store with an ATM. There is also a gymnasium, spa (hair, nails, massage) and a children’s park situated near the center of the community.

In one corner of the compound is the school for K-12 students. It is by far the most impressive school campus I have ever seen.

For me, one of the most impressive things about the compound is the sense of community amongst the teaching staff. Just as military families stationed overseas or diplomats in foreign countries do, this band of internationals look out for each other in countless ways – assisting the newcomers with finding their way around, providing doctor referrals and other services, hosting social gatherings, exploring the country together, and  in our case, helping prepare for a new baby. When it became know that a new baby on the way, a mountain of gently-used cribs, strollers, rockers, baby clothes, bottles, and other supplies poured forth. The newest parents were there providing guidance and encouragement to help prepare S&J for what was to come. I was so surprised and touched to learn that these fellow teachers also organized meals to be delivered to S&J every night for the first month after Harris’ birth, then every other night for another month – what a thoughtful and extremely helpful gesture!

I also had an opportunity to accompany Shannon to a ladies book club night. What fun! How rare it is to see so many intelligent, thoughtful, and gracious young women gathered together. There were other gatherings – pickup basketball for the guys, televised sports games, or gatherings in the back courtyards.   In meeting many of their neighbors/colleagues, I was impressed with their sense of adventure and global citizen perspective. I have a strong sense that S&J are part a very special group of people.

And, oh yeah, the most adorable baby in the world: Harris, aka Harris of Arabia!

Although Tom and I planned to arrive a few days before the due date, Shannon’s blood pressure became unmanageably high and the doctor induced labor for her safety. Born abruptly at 7:50am on October 16th Saudi time (back home it was Oct 15th at 11:50pm so I suppose we can have a two-day birthday celebration in the years to come). After three days of inducing labor and another day of full labor which brought him nearly to birth, an emergency C-section was suddenly required due to his shoulder being stuck in the birth canal. Harris weighed in at 6 lbs with a gestational age of about 38 weeks. In spite of the commotion surrounding his birth, Harris is a calm and sweet baby!

We arrived when he was just ten days old and were so happy to see how well S&J are doing as new parents in spite of their exhaustion. And, speaking of exhaustion, I have rambled on about many trivial things, but the most important topic is yet to come- Baby Harris! I must put down my keyboard for the night, because this subject deserves a fully rested grandparent blogger – look for more much more! on this most precious addition to the world in the next blog…

Gaudi Saudi Party

Last weekend a teacher friend of ours turned 40 and to celebrate her birthday, she threw a “Saudi Gaudy” themed party. The so-called “Princess Souq” in Riyadh was at one time rumored to be the place where the royal princess would send her old clothes. I don’t know if there is any truth to this but nevertheless, the Princess Souq is a place where you can purchase second hand clothing, and they offer a niche market of extravagant party dresses. Imagine a mix between a Quinceanera dress and Project Runway. If sequins are good, then feathers are better and there is no such thing as too much embellishment. So part of the fun of this party is going to the souq to pick out the most outrageous, over-the-top, gaudy dress you can find. Then, all the women get dressed up in their party gowns, and the men serve as cocktail waiters for the party.
The girls organized a big bus to drive them out to the souq to go dress shopping, along with one or two male escorts to discourage leering undesirables. Unfortunately, I was in the hospital giving birth during the shopping weekend and miss out on the fun. But because the dresses are so cheap, some as low as 50 riyals (approximately $13 USD), the ladies purchased extra dresses to distribute to anyone who couldn’t make it. I was therefore able to don a leftover dress that was resplendent with tulle, gems, sequins, feathers, and a train!
On the night of the party, two friends came over to my villa for hair and makeup and I haven’t
had such a fun, silly, girl-time as this in a long time! While Justin took Harris on a walk around the neighborhood, my friends and I piled on loads of heavy eye shadow and blush, and teased our hair to ridiculous levels. If “over-the-top” was the look we were going for to compliment our equally superfluous dresses, then we accomplished our goal. We met up with about a dozen other ladies at another woman’s villa to laugh at and admire one another’s dresses before making our way to the party.
The commercial center in our compound offers a lounge that can be reserved for private parties and this was the location of our event. However, the commercial center is also ground zero for our students to hang out on a Thursday night so the trick was waiting until the coast was clear of teenagers before making a run for it to the lounge, in hopes that you could get through the doors without being spotted by a student in your tremendously gaudy dress and ridiculous hair and makeup. [We were seen by several students, who just slowly shook their heads at us]. Hey, when you live on a compound you have to make up your own fun sometimes!

Inside the lounge were about 60 teachers from school, all decked out in their Princess Souq bargains. There was a table of chicken shawarma and beverages, music and a dance floor, and of course a giant photo booth. As the night progressed, so too did the trail of embellishments that were gradually falling off of the cheaply made dresses. This was a really fun and creative event that was a great way to celebrate my first “mom’s night out” after having the baby, and it was great to have so many other fun-loving ladies to be silly with.

Baby Logistics Abroad

So, I have said this in previous posts, but never before has it been as justifiable. We haven't posted in a while because we've been a little busy. While in previous years, we would have had a fall break trip to post about, or some new shuffle or adjustment to a new role to post about, we have none of that. But we do have some other life adjustments that are taking up a bit of our time, effort, energy, and focus. Baby Harris is doing just fine adjusting to being alive in the world. As of the time I am writing this, he is about 6 weeks old, eating well, sleeping well, and healthy. We have been adjusting to all that being first time parents entails including lack of sleep, developing changing routines, and a variety of other challenges and wonders that we hadn't experienced before. The purpose of this post, however, is to highlight some of the logistics of having a baby abroad, specifically in Saudi Arabia for those of our friends and families who might be interested. Some things work a bit differently here.

While we have never had a child in the states, my understanding has always been that a birth certificate is issued to the parents of the child in the hospital along with a social security number. Since those are government issued documents, and we do not live in the country that issues them, the steps are a little different for us. Instead of a birth certificate, we were issued a birth announcement in Arabic. I can't read Arabic, but my understanding is that the document serves as proof that the baby was born, at which hospital, at what time, and to the parents. So, very similar to a birth certificate in theory, but not exactly.

Our school and the HR office did an amazing job walking us through this process so all credit goes to them. But before the baby is even born, weeks or months before, an appointment needs to be made at the local Saudi government health office to apply for the actual birth certificate. Since Harris came a little earlier than expected, and we had already made the appointment, we had a few weeks of time to kill before we could go to the appointment. When the day finally came, I took the day off of school and the school arranged for me to go with a guy who can only be described as a fixer, or government office liaison. I had to bring both my and Shannon's passports, resident ID cards, his birth announcement, our marriage license, an Arabic translation of our marriage license, and an application filled out in Arabic. My liaison assured me that this process, with an appointment takes about 10 minutes. Well he was wrong this time. When we got in, we took a number, got ushered from one room to the next, and took a number. We had number 149 and they were on 72 when we got there so I knew the 10 minute time limit wasn't going to be an option for us. About an hour into waiting, we were asked to leave the building to stand outside because they were closing for prayer. I wasn't sure if we would lose our place in line or if the ticket system would still be valid, but either way I wasn't going to leave without a birth certificate. We went back in after prayer and kept waiting. And waiting. And. Waiting. It took a total of about three hours. As I looked around the waiting room, I saw lots and lots of new dads. It was pretty much only new dads as this office was a men only place. At one point, my government office guy toyed with the idea of purchasing the right to swap numbers with someone else. We ultimately decided against it, but I appreciated his resourcefulness nonetheless. When the time finally came, they just came out with a long dot matrix printed stack of connected perforated papers (the elusive birth certificates). They started calling out the names of the babies one by one and exasperated new dads took them triumphantly and left. Mohammed, Abdulaziz, Abdullah, Mohammed, Abdullah, Abdulrahman, Mohamed, and finally Harris. There was no mistaking which one was mine, so that made it easy.

Our next step was to get his passport started. We went and found a local photography studio to take passport photos for him. The regulations and guidelines for baby passports say that since they can't hold their own heads up when they are freshly born, they can have their photos taken from above with them lying down. Well our photo guy did not have that option. Furthermore, they need to have their eyes open, which is also not easy for a newborn. But when we got there, he just happened to wake up serendipitously. So I propped him up on my knee, held his head up, and tried my best to keep my hand out of the frame. What resulted is a photo that Shannon and I can only describe as hilarious. The presence of my hand on his back, holding his neck up, gives him the appearance of a linebacker with huge shoulders and no neck. He is going to have a passport with that photo until he's five years old. Ha! But we were happy to have had it done. So with all of my documents in hand, and my freshly minted birth certificate (all Arabic by the way for those curious, except for my name, Shannon's name, and Harris' name) I went back to school. I handed it all over to our HR person who took all of that to get formally notarized and translated into English. A few weeks later, when I was finally able to get an appointment at the US Embassy, I took all of these documents, newly translated documents, and more applications, and my wife and baby and went over to the Embassy. Yes you heard it right, Harris has already been on sovereign US soil. We applied for a document called a certificate of birth abroad, and a passport for him to solidify his American citizenship and end his lifelong (albeit short life) struggle as a stateless individual. So now we await word on his passport and his official citizenship, which should take about 2-4 weeks.

After that, we start the social security process and all that it might entail. It has been a few errands and a lot of running around, but they are necessary chores for what will be an important step for Harris and our family.

Welcome Home Baby

After an arduous and extended hospital stay, baby and I are finally back home and settled and adjusting to our new lives together. Baby is feeding and sleeping very well and his parents are slowly getting the hang of the newborn routine. We have survived Week One and are full steam ahead into Week Two!

First Check Up
Baby had a check up scheduled for 2 days after his hospital discharge, so this was my very first outing on my own with baby. I booked a driver through the school and to make it easier, just had him drive our vehicle with the car seat already installed. I sat in the backseat with baby and the driver dropped me off at the entrance to the hospital. From there I put him in his stroller and navigated our way through the hospital to the pediatric clinic for our checkup and some blood work. Happily, his levels were all normal and no more treatments are necessary.

Meals for the New Parents
Our good friend set up a meal train for us beginning on our first night back from the hospital, and let me tell you how amazing this has been! Each night we have a freshly prepared hot meal dropped off at our doorstep, usually with a dessert to match and all Justin and I have to do is sit down and eat. No one needs to think about cooking or cleaning up and it has really been a lifesaver for these past two weeks. It’s also fun for me to pull up the signup sheet each afternoon to see what new delicious meal I have to look forward to. We are quite fortunate to be surrounded by such a supportive community who are good cooks to boot!

Mom Network
In addition to having a loving, supportive community, there is an incredible network of supermoms around here that have already given me so much love, support and encouragement that I get emotional just thinking about it. Moms have come over to bring me cookies, give me a hug, lend me a bottle warmer, assist me with breastfeeding, and just lend a sympathetic ear during those first few days when I was feeling anxious and weak and vulnerable. I’m so grateful to these moms for all the love they’ve shown me and for welcoming me into this sisterhood of moms. Now I finally get to have my own mom (and dad!) here tonight, yay!

Milestones
By the end of Week One both mom and dad have been peed on mid-diaper change, so considered us both officially christened into parenthood!

I’m also becoming quite adept at doing everything one-handed and picking things up with my feet!
For some reason I thought I should write down everything baby did for the first few days of life, so scrawled on my refrigerator in dry erase marker, or scribbled down in a notebook, or noted in my phone’s notepad are daily observations of feeding amounts and times, naps and waking times, and detailed observations on diaper contents. It’s a bit like a wildlife field observation, but with no real hypothesis established and no clear goal in mind. I don’t know what I’m doing with these notes, it just seemed like something I should be taking note of?

Harry Potter
On all those sleepless nights during my pregnancy where I couldn’t get comfortable or I couldn’t make my mind rest, I would get up and read Harry Potter in my rocking chair into the wee hours of the morning. Now with baby here, I’m still up at wee hours of the morning and Harry is still next to my rocking chair, though I’m getting through far less pages at a time now. I’m about halfway through Book 6 with one more book to go to finish the series. This will be a nice memory to share with my son and maybe we can even enjoy rereading the series together again someday.

The Grandparents
My parents are arriving in Riyadh tonight to spend the next three weeks with us and I couldn’t be happier. We’ve got the guest room all made up for them and Justin is taking a drive to the airport tonight to collect them and their many suitcases full of goodies for us and baby! Since baby is still so fresh, we won’t be able to do many big outings, but I’m hoping for a couple of nice meals out, maybe a shopping trip to the souqs, and of course strolls around the neighborhood and frequent visits to the frozen yogurt shop will all be feasible.

The past two weeks have been a whirlwind of emotion, physical and mental recovery and adjustment, and just utterly new, exhausting and wonderful. After getting through my first week home with baby I’m feeling much more secure and confident and I’m just amazed every time I look over at this little guy and realize that he is all ours.

Settling Back In

Getting back into the swing of things here in Riyadh was easier than one might think. Our home was clean and in order, and all of our house plants were still alive and well. It was as if we never left. We made a big trip to the grocery store to replenish our supplies and then we filled our other day with setting up the rest of the nursery. I have to say I’m thrilled with how the nursery turned out. And if handling a newborn comes as naturally to us as decorating the nursery, then Justin and I are set! (I’m kidding of course).

We had a nice week back to work and it was nice to see everyone returned from vacation looking happy and relaxed. We even had an entire work day to set up our classrooms so that we are feeling much more organized at the start of this year.

We had a checkup with the doctor and next weekend will take a tour of the maternity ward. I’ve been getting a lot of love and support from a lot of the women here so that I am feeling calm and happy and relaxed. I’ve also been making a concerted effort these last two weeks to stay active, practice meditation and stretching, and keep my thoughts positive and centered in gratitude. As a result, I am not experiencing any of the stress that comes with starting a new school year, nor am feeling particularly worried about having this baby. Life is good and I am good and everything’s good, baby!

It seems serendipitous that our school theme for this year is wellness and there have been many opportunities to practice mindfulness and wellbeing at work and look to ways to bring it to our students in the classroom. There are even some opportunities for me to offer some guided meditation and relaxation sessions to teachers this year which I very much look forward to doing.

We are now near the tail end of Eid holiday and will have one more day of planning and prep on Sunday before the students return on Monday. Both Justin and I are feeling very confident and prepared for this school year and are looking forward to the year ahead and the Baby Mink coming soon!

Summertime Wrap Up

So we're back at home in Saudi. This time, feeling a lot more like home than it did this time last summer. We had an amazing summer, and one that we will remember for a long time. It was busy, but it was good. Simple even; which we are glad for since we don't anticipate much will be simple for a while now with the baby coming so soon.

After we finished up our time in Italy, we made our way stateside. We landed in New York city and made sure to spend a night visiting Shannon's sisters. We stayed in their apartment and had a nice picnic in their community park, complete with delicious beverages and New York bagels. It was a great start to the relaxing part of our summer.

The next day, as he has done many times, my best friend, Justin picked us up in New York and drove us to Philadelphia to get our rental car. Special shout out to Justin for continuously helping us out with whatever we need. When we had our rental car, we drove to our hotel and then started setting up plans to see everyone. Whenever we are in New Jersey, we always have an amazing time, but we are also very busy. With almost all of my family there including my grandmother, sister, niece, mom, aunts, cousins, and friends, we're always pressed for time.

Our plans were put on hold however, when we found out about the death of a loved one in my family. Luckily, we were there in NJ so I was able to handle a lot of the necessary arrangements with my sister.

From there, we did our usual tour of spending time at my mom's place, friends' places, our annual visit to a Phillies game, and we managed to sprinkle in a few trips to the mall to get Shannon some maternity clothes.

One of our many errands included a family trip to the beach on the fourth of July that was organized by my mom; or so we thought. We showed up to pick up my grandmother, where we were surprised to find a surprise baby shower for us! Masterminded by my mom and the aforementioned Justin's lovely wife Megan, we were treated to a BBQ baby shower themed for Independence Day, complete with shirts that read Red, White, and DUE. Very clever play on words, and a wonderful surprise. We spent the afternoon with my family, eating food, and opening gifts. Nothing is quite as cute as opening tiny clothing items for a little baby.

We spent the next few days going to other BBQs, taking my niece to see Jurassic World, and hanging out. It's always a rushed experience when we go home, but it's my favorite part of the year. We spend so much time away from some of the people who we love the most, for most of the year, that even when it's condensed, spending time with them is really fulfilling.

When we were done with our visit in NJ, we took a train down to Washington D.C. to see my uncle, aunt, and cousins. We stayed there for a few days, and rather than see the sights, we were content to watch the World Cup Semifinals and Finals and rest. The weeks in Italy and New Jersey took the last of our energy reserves, so we spent a good amount of time napping, or lounging around the house reading.

After we left Washington D.C., we went to Orlando for the last leg of our stateside trip. We were able
to spend quality time with Shannon's parents, her sisters, and some of our dearest friends from Florida. They too, threw us a baby shower with Shannon's family, where we got a bunch of other clothes for our little one. It was a great way to catch up with some members of her family that I don't know very well, and another BBQ, which is always a good time.

The rest of our time in Orlando was filled with trips to Animal Kingdom, where we had a special VIP safari, dinners our with friends, a few trips to the beach, and even another movie trip or two. We went to the doctor a few times to check on the baby, and laid low. It was a great balance between the busy summer we had up to that point so far, and restful relaxation.

When it was finally time to head back, we decided that rather than the 22 hour journey that we had taken in the past, we wanted to spread out our travel time. So we took a little layover in Paris. After some weather issues, and delays, we finally got to Paris and crashed, where we caught up on our jet lag. Our only issue was the lack of air conditioning in Paris coincided directly with a heatwave, and a 6 and a half month pregnant wife. The apartment was between 80-90 degrees the whole time. Cold showers were taken, rags were stuck in the freezer and draped on faces, and ice was routinely worn as a fashion accessory. But aside from the heat, we had a lovely time. We went out to dinners, took walks through the park just outside of our apartment, and went to a local bakery on more than one occasion to set ourselves up with fresh baguettes. When it was finally time to come home, I actually remarked that it was ironic that we were heading back to Saudi to cool down in the comfort of our air conditioning.

All in all, our summer was amazing. We were able to much needed quality time with our closest friends and families. They were all able to fuss over Shannon for being pregnant. We rested a lot, read many many books, traveled all over, and spend time with each other. It was a great way to spend our summer, and a wonderful way to prepare ourselves for the upcoming year at school, and the upcoming changes to our family.

Rome-in' Around Italy

Every year, in addition to the professional development that we do throughout the year, Shannon takes summer professional development courses. She takes them in part because the classes are challenging, engaging, and helpful, and in part because they are a big component of the international school principal qualification process. In previous years, they have been held at a swanky Miami hotel. In the Spring, when Shannon told me her options were to sign up for the same location later in the summer, or much more conveniently timed, right at the end of our school year at a different location, the choice was easy. Plus, the different location was Rome. This would afford her the opportunity to meet and network with people from different schools in different locations that she had met with previously. Also, it was in Rome.

The convenient timing of courses beginning as soon as our school year obligations were over meant that we had one day to pack, and prep our home for a summer of emptiness. On one hand, we felt a little rushed on our way out, on the other hand, it was time. We were ready to be off of a compound, exploring new cities, and making progress towards seeing our family and friends. We were finally on the way to celebrating Shannon's pregnancy with our families and friends; which were were forced to do from afar.

When we landed in Rome we were treated to the good old, "all bags from this flight have been delivered" sign, which of course meant that all of our possessions were lost. Well this wasn't really what happened, but it's what we thought. When we finally got to our stuff, hopped in a cab, and got to our hotel, we were struck by how much our hotel looked like a hospital. But either way, we were beginning our summers and set up to explore Rome. We spent the rest of the day stopping by a local grocery store to stock up on snacks and provisions for Shannon's daily lunch breaks. We walked around the neighborhood a bit and quickly came to the realization that pretty much everything shuts down on Saturdays in Rome. We grabbed some pizza and called it a night.

For our first full day, and the last day of free time Shannon would have before classes started, I arranged for a tour of the Colosseum. We narrowly missed the hotel shuttle to the center of town, but decided to walk to the city's historical center instead.

After an hour or so of walking and embracing the mid 80s temperatures (way better than 120 which
we left begin in Riyadh), we arrived. Editor's disclaimer: Shannon is five months pregnant. Just feel like I had to throw that out as a reminder. When we got there, we had some lunch and went along with our tour. We felt like total fanny pack wearing tourists as we put on our tour guide required headsets and proceeded into the security line at the Colosseum. As we walked, we watched as countless tourists fell out from the "heat" and the "strenuous walking." We proceeded through our tour while chuckling to ourselves as this one woman loudly complained about the level of audio in her headset, every 7 minutes or so. It was her headset. Then it was her headphones. Then it was the guide not being loud enough. The constant complaining provided some levity to Shannon and I as we enjoyed the tour.

The Colosseum has been on my traveling bucket list since my parents told me when I was a child that they went there for their honeymoon. As a person inclined to the narrative and stories told by history, I always had this fascination with the Colosseum, and it didn't disappoint. We saw the seating areas, the concourse, the rooms used to imprison the gladiators, the weapons storage rooms, and everything in between. We were told about the types of animals used to fight against the gladiators, conjugal visits by wealthy women to the gladiators, and everything in between. After the Colosseum, we toured the Roman Forum and Palatine Hill. We looked at ancient palace ruins, temples, marble statues, columns, and even the site of chariot races. The tour took about three hours, and served as a really cool opportunity to share an afternoon together before her courses started. When the tour ended we wandered around the city looking for some food until we came upon what can only be described as an Irish Pub meets Italian family restaurant. That night, after we fell asleep after a long day of walking and touring, we were woken up at 1:00am to the piecing sound of a fire alarm. Apparently someone had been smoking in their hotel room. So that was a cool way to spend our first night resting up.

The next day started, and Shannon went to class. In previous years, during this training, when we were in Miami, I would wander around the neighborhood, go to the gym, go to coffee shops, go to the pool, or go to the local malls. None of these were bad options. But none of these were wandering around the streets of Rome either. I spent the day going from historical site to historical site. I went to cafes. I walked around and wandered the city. I saw the Pantheon. I saw the historic column of the Emperor Trajan. I got lost. I found my way. I got lost again. I found my way into a small ten foot by ten foot bar watching a World Cup game with a group of Colombians. I had a blast.

When I got back from my daily adventures of walking 15 miles or so around the city, I joined Shannon for an afternoon and evening, just in time for the power to shut off. Yet again, another ear splitting alarm accompanied that; for about five or six hours. We were left as blind as moles wandering the dark hallways of the hotel with nothing more than the flashlights of our cell phones, and the increasing temperature, tempers and accompanying body odor of the guests and as the air conditioning turned off. Due to the elevators being shut down, we walked up and down dark staircases for four stories multiple times to get into our rooms, only to find that we couldn't access our rooms because...key cards. It was not pleasant. So Shannon and I did the only responsible thing, and took refuge in a local pizza spot until the inconvenience was through.

The next day as Shannon went to class, I wandered out again to search the streets of Rome for an appropriate birthday gift, which I won't detail here as her birthday hasn't passed yet. I came back in time to have lunch with Shannon and we were shooed away from the hotel and shushed along the way because they were filming a movie scene. Paying guests be damned! This place was about to become...a hospital for some major action movie. I knew it!

Minor inconveniences aside, the next few days went smoothly, and we capped off our stay with a nice dinner together in the gardens of St. Peter's Cathedral in Vatican City before a tour of the Vatican, and the famous Sistine Chapel. I can only describe the Sistine Chapel as remarkable, and indescribable. The level of detail, beauty, care, effort, and thought that went into each inch of an absolutely massive complex was breathtaking. We saw the collection of paintings, sculptures, and carvings throughout the facility. Unsurprisingly, the crown jewel of the entire visit was the Michelangelo painting of the Creation of Adam.

As I write this, I am enjoying my 60th espresso or so while sitting on a cobblestone street outside of a cafe. I am about to go in to prepare for Shannon's course graduation and dinner with her. After which, we will be moving on from Rome to take a train south to Naples where HER vacation can finally begin, then on to the states to see our families.  Our time in Rome was peppered by hotel disasters, historical beauty, creative scheduling around Shannon's conference schedule, and about as much pasta as you could possibly imagine.

Our final evening in Rome was the night of my ‘graduation ceremony.’ After taking four leadership courses over the last four summers I finally earned my certificate of international school leadership. Justin was able to join me for the evening so he met some of the participants from my course, and got to watch the famous closing night skits put on by all the breakout session groups. Unable to toast this accomplishment the usually way, after dinner and the ceremony, we went in for an early night. We had been gifted a nice bag of chocolates from the hotel (everyone else was given a bottle of champagne….sigh), and so we toasted with chocolates and sparkling water.

The next morning we boarded the ever-efficient European train system for our one-hour trip down to Naples. In true Euro fashion, the train left exactly at the scheduled time and we enjoyed quite a pleasant journey through the countryside. Naples had a totally different feel than Rome - obviously less crowded, small winding streets, and a lovely fresh sea breeze blowing off the bay. Our Airbnb apartment overlooked the bay of Naples, and afforded an unobstructed view of Mt. Vesuvio as well as stunning sunsets and moonrises over the water. Each morning we threw open all the windows and flooded the apartment with the songs of birds and gulls, and fresh sea air. We filled up our tiny refrigerator with fresh peaches, melon, and cheese for the week and readied ourselves to begin a most relaxing stay in the city of Naples.

It was as we began unpacking our clothes that I realized with great horror that I had left my passport in our hotel room back in Rome. Seeing as how I have never done something this boneheaded before, and because I have not really pulled the pregnancy card many times, I chalked up this oversight to pregnancy brain. Thankfully the hotel had found and was keeping safe my passport. And in true hero fashion, my darling husband boarded the morning train BACK to Rome that very next morning to retrieve my passport and bring it back. I felt horrible that we had to waste half a day and another 100 euros to fix the mistake, but Justin was gracious about it and we didn’t let it ruin our time.

Our first excursion planned for Naples was a day trip to Mt. Vesuvius, a hike around the top of the crater, and finally a visit to the city of Pompeii. We arranged for a private driver to pick us up at the apartment and rode about an hour up to Mt. Vesuvius. Our driver parked in a lot near the entrance and Justin and I hiked (more like an uphill walk than an actual hike) the final 1500 meters to the top. Vesuvius itself is only about 1300 meters tall, and the top of the mountain is an almost perfectly round circle-shaped crater where the top blew off some 2000 years ago. The terrain was rocky and ashy and on this day there were incredibly strong winds at the top. We had a gorgeous view of the bay of and the city from the top. It was an easy 20 minute walk down the bottom where we reunited with our driver and then headed down to Pompeii.

Pompeii, about a 30-minute drive from Vesuvio, was an ancient Roman city that was covered in ash in 79 A.D. after Vesuvio erupted. The city itself was sprawling and you could easily spend an entire 8-hour day walking amongst the streets and aqueducts, private homes, gardens, stables, and amphitheatre. Pompeii is laid out like a modern-day suburban neighborhood, which makes navigating the place quite easy with a walking map. We were amazed to see how well preserved some of the interior frescoes were in the homes and I can only imagine how stunning they must have been to see in their day. We also visited the Garden of the Fugitives where were discovered several victims of the volcano; their final moments forever preserved in plaster casts of their death poses. There was a surreal contrast between the plaster casts and the beautiful garden that surrounded them, filled with flowers and singing birds that gave the impression of a very peaceful final resting place.

We concluded this evening with a homemade Italian dinner, prepared by our host and served on the

terrace overlooking the water and setting sun. This may have been the most delicious and special meal that Justin and I had during our entire stay. Everything was homemade with fresh, privately grown ingredients. The menu included an aperitif of homemade limoncello served with snacks of salted peanuts and organic olives, an appetizer of fresh mozzarella cheese, ripe tomatoes and crisp basil leaves and thinly sliced baby zucchini lightly fried in olive oil, a first course of spaghetti with with olive and tomatoes, a second course of eggplant lasagna, white wine served with fresh sliced peaches, and a dessert of hot chocolate lava cake - an appropriate ending for our volcano-themed day.

After a slow morning of espresso and fresh peaches on the terrace, we grabbed a taxi up to Castel Sant’Elmo, situated on the highest peak of Naples. While the castle itself wasn’t exceptionally beautiful, it did afford us a 360 degree view of the entire city of Naples and surrounding bay. It was a warm, sunny day and we enjoyed gazing out over the ocean and enjoying the nice sea breezes blowing around the castle walls. Upon leaving the castle, we visited the famous Cameo Factory di Paola right outside. This company has been handcrafting cameos for over 100 years. We met the welcoming shop owner who even gave us a demonstration, showing us the tools and techniques he uses to carve a bust, rose, or other decorative scene out of the back of a seashell. His shop was full of beautifully carved cameos set into rings, earrings, pendants and brooches. For my birthday present, I picked out a lovely cameo set in sterling silver of the three graces from Greek mythology, Beauty, Happiness, and Abundance. I chose it because it was unique and commemorative of our visit, but also because it reminded me of my sisters.

On our last full day we once again hired a private driver to take us down the Amalfi coast. We stopped first in Positano, pulling off on the side of the road to admire the famous Mediterranean blue waters gleaming around the cliff sides. The landscape was beautifully covered with lush flowers and charming little villas built right into the cliffside. We also refreshed ourselves with a freshly squeezed lemon ice on the side of the road before continuing on our drive down to Positano. Our driver dropped us off near the center of town and Justin and I walked down a tiny curving, cobblestoned road that was canopied along the way with fushia and white bougainvillea until we reached the beachside. Here, we were able to rent an umbrella and two chairs on the water for a whopping 35 euros. Instead of sand, the shore and bottom were made of rounded black and gray rocks that made for quite a different beach experience. We spent a couple of hours here swimming, sunning and reading until it was time to head back up the hill and meet our driver again. Positano, and in fact most of the Amalfi coast is known for its lemons and handmade limoncello. So we stopped in a little lemon-themed gift shop and purchased some gift bottles for friends, and a small bottle of “Eau di Positano” perfume for me. The drive into Amalfi took about another 20 minutes, on account of the traffic and many coach buses choking up the small, one-way winding road. Amalfi is much larger and more commericalized than Positano and was a definite tourist attraction. We stopped here for a nice lunch of smoked flounder and breaded cod, and of course a scoop of gelato before piling back into the car for our journey home.

Prepping for our Growing Family

We have finally made it to the culmination of our first year in Saudi! Here’s a recap of what we’ve been up to in the last few weeks leading up to our departure for the summer.

One of our biggest projects was getting our home set up for when we get back from the summer. When we get back, I will be about 7 months pregnant. After visiting two different hospitals, we settled on a doctor that is unfortunately a farther drive from home, but offers nicer facilities and a doctor that I just felt more comfortable with. As we are still in the midst of Ramadan special hours however, this meant that our appointments were offered late at night, like 9:30 pm up until 1:00 am, which is difficult when your usual school night bedtime is 9 o’clock.

Baby Bump Coming Along

Our final appointment before leaving the country was just last week and it was for 9pm on a Friday (which is like our Saturday night). We had some errands to run on that side of town (about a 40 minute drive from home) so we thought we would be clever and just stay on that side of town all day, rather than driving back and forth across the city. In theory, this could have worked. But we were foiled by tricky Ramadan hours. We wrapped up our Ikea visit at around 4 pm, right as Asr prayer was beginning. We thought, okay, we can just sit in the car for 30 minutes until this prayer is over, then continue our shopping at the hardware store, then have a leisurely dinner once fasting is over around 6:30 pm, and have no problem getting to the hospital for our 9 pm appointment. But, no. Because it was Friday there are extra prayers, and extra long prayers, and during Ramadan this means that business is just done at Asr prayer and won’t start up again until after Maghrib, so 8:00, or in the case of some businesses, not until 9:00.

We were able to find an Applebee’s restaurant that was open and serving, so we agreed to kill some time there. The greasy booths, sticky menus, and the fact that Applebee's is probably the most loathsome restaurant on the planet did not make this a pleasant meal, but we had reached the point of no return on our flawed agenda. After dinner we killed some more time by taking laps around the closed mall like a couple of senior citizens. And then finally, we just went ahead and drove to the hospital early. Much to our dismay we learned that the hospital shuts off the air conditioning during these closed hours, so it made for a very warm waiting room.

No A/C at the Dr.'s Office

The evening was filled with many more delays, such as Justin being bum rushed in the check-in line by about 6 Saudi women, putting him last in the queue. Then our doctor having to go assist in a delivery. Then the nurse misplacing our ultrasound order. And by the time it was all said and done, we weren’t home again until 1 am. And yet, this is the hospital we’ve decided on. We can only hope and assume that once the country is back to regular business hours, this process will be less time consuming.

The other big project underway was to get our home and lives ready for baby before leaving. After understanding the demands of working at this school, it only made sense that we do as much preparation now as possible, to set ourselves up for a smooth transition when we return in August. And since Justin and I are both planners, we took this project very seriously and very methodically. First, I made a giant Ikea shopping cart and worked out a baby budget. And, as hand-me-downs were being constantly offered up, my shopping list began to dwindle. One added bonus of living in a family-friendly compound is that almost everyone has kids, and this means there is plenty of baby stuff to go around, that is generously passed from one mother to the next in a kind of infinity loop of babies. This also means that I’m surrounded by a network of experienced mommies who can offer all sorts of advice ranging from what baby items are essential and which are superfluous, to the best sort of maternity clothing and even (gasp!) nipple creams! This is a huge help to a first time mom such as myself and I’m lucky to be surrounded by so much experience and generosity.

After kicking around a few ideas for decorating the nursery, Justin and I agreed on a concept that we found mutually satisfying - a scene from Calvin and Hobbes (Justin’s favorite comics growing up as a kid), but set in a woodland scene to satisfy my desire for a natural, woodscape. The result was an adorable and whimsical little scene that my talented husband did a fantastic rendering of. All in all, we estimate he spent a total of around 30 hours from start to finish to bring it to life. But, not bad for a first time muralist, and the result was amazing. As Justin was up on the ladder painting the mural, I steadily assembled piece after piece of Ikea furniture and continued to twiddle down our master shopping list. We are picking up a few more hand-me-downs from other families this afternoon, and then we will be left with almost nothing left to buy except for baby clothes and diapers. The nursery is essentially done. Now we can just add baby! And knowing that all of this will be ready when we return allows Justin and me to glide into our summer worry-free.

And so now, as I sit in my empty classroom with it’s bare walls and wait for my final check-out signature before I can leave, I reflect on all we’ve accomplished this year and all we have to look forward to in the next. We have a fantastic 2-week vacation in Italy starting on Saturday, and then we’re headed back home to spend the summer with our friends and families. 

Year 1 in Review

Shannon and I have used this space as a way to reflect professionally and personally as we reach the end of each school year. Our yearly "In Review" post has been a collective cathartic experience where we highlight some of the trials and tribulations of the previous year, framing our experiences for our own purposes. We try to encompass the entirety of each year as a way to reflect and improve moving forward, as well as a way to be appreciative of the fortunate opportunities we are afforded.

To start with our first year in Saudi, in review, I think it is important to first examine why we came here. We were afforded a great opportunity while choosing our destination, to choose from very different options, based on what we wanted out of life. We decided that our goals were going to be focused on going to a high performing school, starting a family, exploring travel opportunities that are afforded by living in this part of the world, and exploring new cultures.

I would say while looking back at these goals, while we had ups and downs this year, Riyadh has

proven to be the perfect place for us for those reasons. We have been challenged at school. Some challenges were expected, while others weren't. We found ourselves working for a school with incredibly high expectations in a lot of ways. It is a very high performing school on the global scale, and while we have found some things frustrating, on the whole, working for this school has proven to fit the mold of what we originally set out looking for.

We have also managed to put ourselves in a position to start a family. Shannon is pregnant and we are going to have a baby here. Our experiences here with the medical care have been very positive, aside from a few inconveniences regarding scheduling appointments during the month of Ramadan. We have found that our home, our school, our school community, friends, and amenities here are very conducive to starting and having a family. Finding a home that supported these goals was probably the most important thing to Shannon and me when we set off looking for a new school. I feel that our choice to come here has been validated in a lot of ways as a result of everything we have found here.

With regards to travel opportunities, in the past year we have been mall hopping in Bahrain, cruising around in Cadillacs from the 1950s in Havana, hunkered down under Christmas trees in New Jersey and Florida, through Christmas markets in Berlin, building houses with our students in the Phillipines, wandering along the Danube River around castles in Budapest, eating cakes from the Sacher Cafe in Vienna, hiking around the ancient ruins of Petra in Jordan, and living and exploring in Saudi Arabia. On our way home this summer, we'll be spending 2 weeks in Italy. By the start of next year, our unborn child will have been to seven different countries, and it still won't even be born yet! I would say our travel opportunities have been more than plentiful.

But all of that isn't to say we haven't had a variety of ups and downs along the way. We had to transition to the cultural expectations of Saudi and some of the difficulties that came with that as newcomers. Shannon isn't allowed to drive. She has to wear her abaya. Seemingly every time we try to run more than one errand at a time, we get locked out for prayer time. We have had to experience the joys of abundant conveniences that comes with living in a compound, and the boxed in feeling that comes from that too. We have had to counter awful weather (it's 115 as I am typing this), pollution, sandstorms, and...erratic driving. We have been yelled at for leaning on counters, had missiles shot at us.  We have experienced the typical struggles of adjusting to being far away from family as birthdays of loved ones, holidays, and family crises pass without us.

With the difficulties, we've had balance and new experiences. We've created new friendships with new people, centered on common frustrations and experiences. We've been lost in souqs, we've been to Persian carpet parties, we've been locked into and out of stores for prayer times.  We've seen this country make decisions to allow women to drive, and to open movie theaters.

When I look back at our first year, I think of the frustrations, the opportunities, and the stories we've collected. I look forward to a second year in a school and a home. I look forward to coming back in August to a home that is furnished, a curriculum that I am familiar with, friends who I know, and a cultural and social system that I understand. I look forward to new challenges like welcoming our son into our lives and sharing all that will be new and overwhelming from that standpoint with Shannon. It has been a long year. It has been a fun and frustrating year. It has helped us grow and understand the world around us better, and rely on each other more and more. We have made a home here, and proven to ourselves yet again that we can make a home anywhere as long as we go into it with an adventurous and open mind. We are thankful for our first year, eager to spend time with our families and friends, and hopeful for our second year moving forward.