Grandparent Visit!

Living abroad has many advantages as we profile in our posts. It also comes with some disadvantages as well, such as how far away our families are. However, on rare occasion, when we're lucky, we get visitors! That's a bit more difficult living in Riyadh than it was in Quito, but with a new grand-baby, Shannon's parents would not be deterred. They were willing to do whatever it took to come see the baby, and they did. They navigated the multi-week process of getting visas, flew across the world, and showed up ready to help and hang with baby Harris. Since this blog is often used for chronicling experiences through fresh eyes, Shannon and I invited her parents to write a post detailing their own experiences. 

First impressions of the city: modular, angular, monochromatic, a city in progress.

Nearly all architecture is comprised of huge square and rectangular buildings with flat roofs (think chunky mid-century), assembled into villa and town-home communities. Mostly all are constructed of stone or concrete in varying shades of beige, taupe, light orange and only very occasionally grey (what’s wrong with gray?). It’s an interesting feature – a city with “no color” – even the majority of cars on the road are white, silver or beige. Does the culture consider bright colors to be inappropriate, or is it simply another way to deflect desert heat? Nearer to the city center is a boulevard of one-of-a-kind high-rise skyscrapers each designed by world-renowned architects trying to outdo the others. Clearly these are what the city wants to be known for. Among these landmarks is the “eye of the

needle” skyscraper as seen in the media, Kingdom Tower.

On either side and in the center median of the highway running through the city are miles and miles of date palm trees complemented by ground covers – as far as the eye can see. Dates palms are some of the tallest, stateliest, most prestigious palms of all; it is extraordinary! An impressive amount of irrigation engineering was needed to create this “living boulevard” through the middle of a desert.

Along that highway, behind the rows of dates palms, are clusters of forklifts, cranes, backhoes, etc. and piles of rock and debris scattered throughout a multitude of construction projects. Clearly, a very long-term plan to further transform the city is in progress.

Once settled into Shannon and Justin’s place, we made a few ventures into the city during our visit. More on these day trips in another blog. Don’t let me forget to describe the showdown with the Saudi military and their howitzer!

Culture
Yes, the women are fully covered in black abayas, face veils, headscarves, burqas, and all other manner of full body clothing! And yes, women visiting the country are required to wear the abaya to fully cover themselves from the neck down (other colors besides black and headscarves are optional for us). I’m told that Saudi women are taught that their godliness to directly related to how covered they are. We westerners (heathens?) only have to wear the abayas when we leave the compound and go into the city. I found the abaya to be restrictive when climbing in and out of cars, reaching across the table at restaurants, etc., and generally a trip hazard. But on the other hand, I didn’t have to worry about what to wear or “get dressed up” to go out! :-)

The Saudi men wear their version of the abaya – the white “thobe”, red and white checkered Saudi headscarves, and a most interesting traditional Saudi sandal (you’d have to see it…). Such a juxtaposition to see Saudis in these traditional clothes on cellphones, in late model cars, strolling through IKEA and hanging out at Starbucks (yes, Starbucks, as well as many other western stores are there: Burger King, Dunkin Donuts, mobile phone stores, Benihana – even Victoria’s Secret at the mall!) It takes some getting used to interacting with cashiers and receptionists whose faces are covered.

In additional to the mosques, the segregation of the sexes is also practiced in waiting rooms,
restaurants, and stores. There are female-only waiting rooms, men-only waiting rooms, and “family” waiting rooms (assuming at least one male is in the party). As a westerner, it’s really hard to understand the logic behind this. It must be a real pain-in-the-butt for space planners.
Although recent changes now permit women to drive, we saw only one female driver during our entire visit.  I think it would be a very difficult place for new drivers to learn how to drive. I equated intersections to playing chicken in bumper cars. Hats off to Justin for jumping in!

I also noticed that it is a very quiet culture. When out in public, Saudis speak very quietly to those in their party only. I never once was able to overhear conversations of those around me. Striking up conversation with the person next to you in line simply isn’t done. The public spaces are also quiet – no background music in the stores, malls, or medical offices. Even the hospital where we went for baby Harris and Shannon’s checkups had only occasional intercom paging interruptions.

Added to this, of course, is the call to prayer five times per day from sunrise to sunset. Those times are set by the daily positioning of the sun, and so vary slightly from one day to the next. BUT, not to worry- there’s an App for that! Seriously!! And Shannon and Justin are adept at calculating travel and shopping times to work around these interruptions and we often referred to apps on our phone to know when the next prayer time was scheduled. It is important to know since stores close during prayer. Depending on the store, either everyone is kicked out of the store for about 25 minutes, or you’re able to continue shopping but the cashiers close and you cannot check out until prayer is over; in other words, you are locked in the store until prayer time ends. I will say (and depending on the Imam) it is quite lovely to hear the call to prayer from the nearby mosques (which are everywhere – and one of the places where architectural adornment is plentiful). But the constant interruption to daily commerce became quite fatiguing. Western Capitalism would have a fit!

The Compound is where S&J live and work. Drive alongside a 12 ft.  high, 8-inch thick concrete wall with razor wire atop, down a singular road with speed bumps and crash gates every quarter of a mile, to the first security checkpoint (wait for guard to wave you forward), then to the second security checkpoint (show ID, open hood and trunk for inspection), past the gun turret directly facing your vehicle, around a final curve and you’re there!

Leaving Riyadh and coming into Al-Bustan Village is like Dorothy waking up in the Land of Oz.
Another analogy is leaving the desert and entering an oasis (albeit man-made) …

The compound is a fully westernized, planned development situated on an approximately one-and-a-half square mile of lushly landscaped streets. You would never know you were in the Arabian Desert. Villas and townhomes surround the perimeter. In front of each is a “covered” parking space – bougainvillea and cassia grow between and across the tops of each of the ports to create a quaint streetscape. Other streets have rows of date palms. Much of the landscaping is common to Florida and other hot, dry climates: cassia, plumeria, aloe, oleander, lantana, bougainvillea, sage grasses, fan palms, Mexican bluebell, privet, fragrant flowering trees, and groundcovers. There is a multitude of birds: mourning doves, finches, bulbul, and unknown others.


Each villa has a private courtyard in the back with a covered seating area, some grass and other landscaping, and is separated from neighbors with fences and hedges. S&J’s had theirs beautifully furnished with furniture, Moroccan lights, a fire bowl, and of course the proverbial grill.

As are all faculty staff, S&J receive a villa and car as part of their compensation package. Theirs is newly built – that is, they were the first to move in when construction was completed earlier last year. It is two-story, 2-bedroom, 2½ baths, approximately 2,000 SF. The modular, flat-roofed architecture of the city is reflected here as well. All of the villas have been built within the last few years so everything is quite new.

There is a small hotel and business center at the front of the village. Three huge public swimming pools are scattered throughout. One is “sunken” that is, walk down a few steps from street level to a series of connecting pools surrounded by – you guessed it – date palms and lounge chairs. The palms have numbers affixed to their trunks so that when ordering food service you can tell them what tree you’re located at. It has a five-star resort feel, just like a Sandals resort!

Within the business center are three small restaurants – Burger King, pizza, and a middle-eastern shawarma place (we ate fresh tabbouleh and kibbeh almost every day – delicious!), some gift shops, a
bike shop, a pet supplies shop, Starbucks, and a small grocery store with an ATM. There is also a gymnasium, spa (hair, nails, massage) and a children’s park situated near the center of the community.

In one corner of the compound is the school for K-12 students. It is by far the most impressive school campus I have ever seen.

For me, one of the most impressive things about the compound is the sense of community amongst the teaching staff. Just as military families stationed overseas or diplomats in foreign countries do, this band of internationals look out for each other in countless ways – assisting the newcomers with finding their way around, providing doctor referrals and other services, hosting social gatherings, exploring the country together, and  in our case, helping prepare for a new baby. When it became know that a new baby on the way, a mountain of gently-used cribs, strollers, rockers, baby clothes, bottles, and other supplies poured forth. The newest parents were there providing guidance and encouragement to help prepare S&J for what was to come. I was so surprised and touched to learn that these fellow teachers also organized meals to be delivered to S&J every night for the first month after Harris’ birth, then every other night for another month – what a thoughtful and extremely helpful gesture!

I also had an opportunity to accompany Shannon to a ladies book club night. What fun! How rare it is to see so many intelligent, thoughtful, and gracious young women gathered together. There were other gatherings – pickup basketball for the guys, televised sports games, or gatherings in the back courtyards.   In meeting many of their neighbors/colleagues, I was impressed with their sense of adventure and global citizen perspective. I have a strong sense that S&J are part a very special group of people.

And, oh yeah, the most adorable baby in the world: Harris, aka Harris of Arabia!

Although Tom and I planned to arrive a few days before the due date, Shannon’s blood pressure became unmanageably high and the doctor induced labor for her safety. Born abruptly at 7:50am on October 16th Saudi time (back home it was Oct 15th at 11:50pm so I suppose we can have a two-day birthday celebration in the years to come). After three days of inducing labor and another day of full labor which brought him nearly to birth, an emergency C-section was suddenly required due to his shoulder being stuck in the birth canal. Harris weighed in at 6 lbs with a gestational age of about 38 weeks. In spite of the commotion surrounding his birth, Harris is a calm and sweet baby!

We arrived when he was just ten days old and were so happy to see how well S&J are doing as new parents in spite of their exhaustion. And, speaking of exhaustion, I have rambled on about many trivial things, but the most important topic is yet to come- Baby Harris! I must put down my keyboard for the night, because this subject deserves a fully rested grandparent blogger – look for more much more! on this most precious addition to the world in the next blog…