Fasting

As Shannon mentioned in one of her recent posts, were are experiencing some changes in the school and throughout the country as everyone observes the holy month of Ramadan. The significance of the holiday cannot be overstated. It is a time for family, reflection, and self-sacrifice. It is a deeply spiritual time for many Muslims in the country and as a result, it is celebrated by many families throughout the kingdom as a major family event.

Prior to coming to Saudi, we had a friend who we worked with in Ecuador who had lived and worked here for 5 years. One of the last parting words of advice he gave us before we left South America was, "If you ever get invited to an Iftar dinner, you need to go. It is one of the coolest experiences and most genuine experiences you can have while living in Saudi." For context, Iftar is one of the religious observances of Ramadan and is often done as a community, with people gathering to break their fast together. Iftar is a celebration and a meal just before Maghrib prayer time, which is around sunset. So when Shannon and I were invited to an Iftar at a student's house by him and his family, we were eager to take the opportunity. My interpretation of the offer is that it is quite a grand and kind gesture akin to sharing a Christmas meal with a family.

As an aside, while Shannon and I have been happy with a lot of the aspects of living in Saudi and working at our school, one thing that has been a bit of a struggle for us has been living on a compound. On one hand, everything you need is there. We have access to friends, groceries, a gym, coffee shops, ice cream shops, small stores, restaurants, etc. But we are on a compound. The compound is meant to make life more normal and "western" for foreigners, which is good, most of the time. One of our struggles has been with our difficulty to connect with Saudi culture and people. It's easy to gloss over that. We aren't trapped here. But we are almost trapped by convenience. We work 11-12 or more hours a day and when we are done, we enjoy the gym and our homes, or our friends' homes. That fosters an insulated life in a way. It's a problem of convenience, I realize this. I could very easily put myself out there more and get more involved with the local culture, but it is different from Ecuador in that we were eased into a transition rather than thrown into new culture. Sometimes if you aren't thrown into something, it's easier not to get as involved as you want to be. In a way, it's almost deprivation by convenience.

So as a combination of a variety of factors, we eagerly accepted the invitation. It would give me an opportunity to further connect with this student and his family, it would give us a new cultural experience, it was a grand and kind gesture to be invited, and it would force us to get out into the world around us while experiencing a part of life that is important to people who aren't us, thus providing insight into the world around us.

As Shannon also wrote in her Ramadan post, many who observe Ramadan fast during the holy month. Many of our students fast. They have come to school tired from the inverted schedule, cranky from thirst and hunger, and sometimes they struggle with their abilities to focus. To celebrate our invitation, and to experience what our students experience as an act of empathy and solidarity, and to satiate my own curiosity, I decided to fast for the Iftar meal.

Now, to properly fast for Ramadan, you need to go further than a simple fast that I had experienced in the US, wherein you don't eat any food. To properly fast, you can't have any food, water, or coffee or anything. No mints or gum to stave off the hunger. Nothing. This was made a little harder by my own scheduling. The night before my fast, I played in a basketball game that resulted in me being a bit dehydrated and getting home at 1:00 or so, and in bed by 2:00am. My student advised me prior to the fast that I should wake up at 3:00 and eat a light meal and hydrate before 3:28am when the first call to prayer happens. So I did just that. So after about 40 minutes of sleep, I got up, drank a liter and a half of water, and ate some fruit. Then I went back to bed for three hours before work. Except I didn't. The hydration bomb resulted in me going to the bathroom about 5 more times and getting even less sleep. Either way, I was starting the day off with no sleep, and by the time I woke up, I was still dehydrated from the night before.

As the day went on, I found that I wasn't as irritable as I expected. I didn't even really get hungry throughout the day, with one or two exceptions. The hardest part was the thirst. This time of year in Saudi Arabia, it gets up to 110 or 115 degrees. That is many many degrees. On a normal day, I drink at least 3 liters of water. Having a commitment to 0 drops of water really puts the sacrifice many of the people living here choose. To me, it clarified the depth of their commitment and focus. It made their sacrifice that much more pronounced and noble. While I made it through the day without too much difficulty, the feeling of omnipresent suffering (albeit minor) made me admire their dedication and them to a degree by extension.

At the end of the day, we went home and I took a nap to catch up on sleep while Shannon made some of her famous biscotti as a gift for our hosts. The nap helped distract me from my thirst and helped me get some much needed rest before our evening.

After the nap we went to the family home and we were warmly greeted. While the nature of our conversations, the evening, and their tremendously hospitable hosting can and should remain between the parties present, I can however, glean some information on the process of breaking fast for Iftar.

When we arrived, we spent some time in a family living room area. When the sun went down, we sat on the ground on some beautiful rugs and broke our fast with dates as was done with the prophet Mohammed. We were told it is customary to eat dates in odd numbers. By this point, my previously dormant hunger raged back and I think I had about 5 dates. They were served with cream, as was Arabic coffee and different juices and water. We were told that this breaking of the fast with small, sweet food was done to help ease the stomach and the sugar meant to reinvigorate those fasting before a larger meal. After the dates, we ate a variety of small balls of fried dough, drizzled with a variety of sweet sauces. They were light and crispy and airy and the sauces ranged from Nutella to pistachio to coconut, and a few others. I think a conservative estimate for me was about 40 of those.

After we broke our fast, we were taken to a different room where we had a delicious barley soup and a series of samosas, which are like triangular puff pastries with a variety of stuffing. They had meat and vegetables in them mostly. They were lightly fried and reminded me a bit of empanadas in a way. They were delicious. My understanding is that this is a typical and traditional course of a meal for families who celebrate Ramadan and share their Iftar meal together.

After our meal, we went outside and sat in a garden and had tea, biscuits, and some more sweets. The meal was exactly what we needed and the steady wave of small course after small course was perfect. The evening was focused on the interactions. It was a great way to socialize and share time with family and friends. It made me really appreciate the holiday for the value it had to the many people who celebrate it.

On our way home, Shannon and I spoke at length about the kindness of our hosts, the quality of the meal, and at how grateful we were to be invited into the homes of a wonderful family. I remark on this blog from time to time how the hardest part about living overseas is the distance from our loved ones. That evening, it was equal parts devastatingly apparent how far we are from our own families, and delightfully fulfilling to be invited into the family of others for an evening.

Our invitation, and my fasting helped me further see the beauty in Ramadan, and in Saudi culture and people. We were, and are still grateful to our hosts. We are also grateful to be in a position in life and in the world to experience evenings that are totally indescribable and unique. Ramadan Kareem.